Ending this blog? Starting a new one?

So, I’m moving on from here…unless there’s anyone out there still interested.  I was considering continuing this blog, because I really feel like saying something.  But I realize that I’m in a different place now, and this blog was always about getting through the crappy past and figuring out where to go next.  I think it’s time to leave this where it is and move forward.  Comments?

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it’s been a long time

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I’m just wondering if anyone is still out there…possibly hunching over their email, waiting for an update from my blog.  Wishful thinking I know.

There have been so many things happening since the last time I wrote here…so much growth, defeat, a small victory here and there, and much neglect of the spiritual things.  I’m moving in a week, to somewhere very close to the beach…the water…home, where I grew up.  Should I continue to write here?  I’m asking myself, I’m asking anyone who may read this.

And The Beat Goes On

So it’s Spring, and I’m returning to this blog after a long wintry absence.  So much of my time has been spent getting the mundane things back in order after the divorce.  The spiritual side of me has grown anemic and weak, just a faint pulse trying to stay alive in the midst of all the busy-ness and red tape of starting over.  I”m not sure if this will reach any of my old followers, but I hope it does.  The loneliness of post-divorce life is excruciating at times and I would love some human interaction, particularly relating to Paganism and all things associated.  Now that I’m living on my own, and free from my marital obligations, I”m more able to participate in and experiment with things that I had to aggressively hide before.

My Facebook account is back as well.  I actually completely deleted it while the divorce was brewing, so if you were my friend there before, we need to reconnect.  Same name, Pagan Quest.  I like consistency.  Here is  a link.  https://www.facebook.com/pagan.quest

Things that have my interest these days:

Tarot, of course.  I’ve always had an attraction to that.  Just recently I purchased a Lenormand deck, which I’m slowly getting acclimated to.

Runes.  I love to make them, and will hopefully start doing that again.  I really haven’t used them, but the process of making them intrigues me.

Scrying.  I have a scrying mirror that I made last year that’s been wrapped up in my closet for a long time.  I guess I”m waiting for the right time to try it.

Altar.  I’d like to get something set up in my apartment along the lines of a sacred space where ai can go to meditate, do Tarot, etc.  Maybe an altar, maybe just a quiet place.

So with that, I’ll end this and hope to hear from someone soon.  Peace!

Down The Rabbithole

I don’t necessarily dislike a challenge, but it seems I’ve been blessed with more than my fair share of them.  It’s time someone else has a turn…

New Digs

Well, I’m out…of the house…  Lots of pros and cons to this new situation, too many to list at the moment.  I just wanted to throw something up here to say that I’m now on my own, in my own place…loving the peace and quiet, but missing the kids incredibly.  More to come soon, I promise.

Climbing Out From Under A Rock

Ok, so life has taken a decidedly less negative turn for me.  If anyone is still out there paying attention, I’ll continue this journey.   I’m listening…..

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First post of 2013.  Still struggling with the same old crap, just different aspects of it.  Like when your dog throws up or poops on the floor.  Initially you’re like, “What the hell!”  Then, you scream at the dog, and then comes the time you realize you have to clean it up because you know he’s not going to do it for you.  So, using this analogy, I’m past the “What the hell!” part, I’ve screamed, been cleaning up the mess, and now I’m dealing with the smell…the lingering reminder that something awful happened, and every time you go into the room, it’s there to welcome you.  Of course, the sense of smell is the most powerful in reminding us of past experiences, able to awaken feelings and memories that have been dormant or forgotten for years.  And when I walk into the room, and smell the smell of…well…not dog crap, but of happy memories and moments from the past, I experience the heartbreak all over again.

Now I’m working on rediscovering myself, recreating myself, a self that isn’t molded to the expectations of other people, but to who and what I really am.  I’ve never been one for making resolutions, but I’ve set a goal for myself to write something in a journal every day this year.  So far I’ve succeeded.  I’m thinking about posting what I write to this blog, or maybe start another one.  Not sure yet.

Another thing that’s been bugging me lately is loneliness.  I’m not really an overly social person, and I’m quite content with myself most of the time.  But as I’m going through this process, it would be nice to have some…er…friends (?)…to bounce things off of, and to share milestones with.  Now, don’t go thinking I”m getting all fluffy and flowery or anything, and I’m definitely not looking for a hug….  I don’t want to join a group…coven…grove…den…whatever.  But it would be a most welcome thing to be able to say, “Hey, I am going to try such-and-such tonight, what do you think?”  or “Do you have any experience with it?” etc…blah blah…

Lastly, I’m thoroughly enjoying the book “Nocturnal Witchcraft” by Konstantinos.  Although it leans slightly in the direction of Wicca, I’m finding it very informative and enlightening (as much as a book about nocturnal things can be).  Some say it’s just a Wicca 101 book, but I don’t see that at all.  I don’t consider myself Wiccan, nor am I heading in that direction.  Other’s say that the book has a “gothier than thou” tone, but I suspect the people who express that view are fluffy bunnies anyway.  Not that there’s anything wrong with being fluffy, or a bunny…I like both.  I’m just not one.  No, really, I do like people who aren’t just like me…imagine that!

Ok, another thing (really the last thing this time) is that I’ve decided to not hold back as much when I write.  My goal isn’t to offend anyone, but rather to find and attract people who are like me, and who can understand my perspective on things as I try to figure everything out.

So, there it is, the first post of 2013.  I really REALLY do like getting comments and all that, so please let me know someone is out there reading this, so I don’t just throw it all in the virtual dumpster.